Mahendra Shah

To me, integrity means being what you are,regardless of circumstances or environment. We suffer from conflict between how others evaluate us and what we think of ourselves. This interferes with our self-image. We confuse what we are and what we want to be with what people want us to be.

We also find it difficult to follow our chosen paths, in face of constant feedback from friends and relatives on what they think are the correct directions. This has a strong influence on our integrity. Being honest within is the first step to being honest with others. Here, our sense of right or wrong comes in.

At my job, I claimed full hotel bill while I had negotiated a discount. Another time, I claimed full bill for photocopying while having got a discount. Listening to my conscience, I sent a cheque to my HR chief. No one would have known. If one decides to be honest, one can find ways of getting a job done.

Planning to buy a flat, I saw the need of a Provident Fund loan. I was told that bribes are a must. I found that it was speed money paid to get loan fast. I applied well in time. 45 days later, I received credit intimation from my bank. I paid no speed money, as speed was not needed. I learnt that, when dealing with Government, plan well in advance and follow correct procedure.

Sometimes, I have told lies, born out of fear of reprisals. Once I was caught driving our car up a one-way street, without license. As I was mortally afraid of my father, to hide the matter, I gave the policeman pocket money savings of two years. I would keep a comic book hidden inside the textbook and pretend to study. My strong desire to play would make me lie that I had finished my homework. In contrast, our daughters do not fear punishment and hence are not forced to tell lies.

Once my wife lost her driving licence when her purse was stolen. She promptly went to the RTO office, located far away from our home. To her surprise and indignation, she failed the test Integrity twice. Though the decision to fail her the second time was wrong and unfair, the officer refused to take one more trial. When asked what she will do, she said that she will give the third test! Although she felt frustrated, she did not want to leave the matter to an agent. She passed the third time.

What we expect from others, we do not deliver. We are alert when milkman measures milk or vegetable vendor weighs, but we hesitate in returning excess cash received by mistake, treating it as a discount.

Generally, ‘minor’ dishonesty is acceptable; let us see routine cases:

Being honest is not ‘philosophical’; it is highly practical. One does not have to remember when he/she told a lie or to whom. To cover one lie, many more need to be told, ending often with getting caught and losing trust. Since all human relationships are based on trust, liars will end up having no good friends or customers, or a job!

Mahendra Shah